Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

Rattlesnakes Are Fair: A New Free Kindle Book

September 16, 2018

My new book Rattlesnakes Are Fair: Stories from Where I Grew Up and Where I Live has just been published on Kindle. The book includes short stories, photographs, anecdotes, reflections, and jokes with a rural-America flavor. The photographs included were taken in Northwest Indiana, where I grew up and in Colorado, Kansas, Ohio and Maine, where I have lived as an adult. Many, including the cover photo, were taken by Vera Lisa Smetzer.

Rattlesnakes is available for free on Kindle for five days, September 16 through September 20. You do not need a Kindle machine. You can view it on PC, Mac, or phone. As usual on Kindle, there are many spacing and paragraphing problems that did not show up in the previewer.

Rattlesnakes Are Fair

 

My two previous books will also be available for free, but only for two days, September 16 and 17:

Mikey Works at the Grocery

 

Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders & George Armstrong Custer

Mikey Works at the Grocery

July 22, 2018

 

My little book of daft humor Mikey Works at the Grocery was published last week. It is now available for free on Kindle for three days, July 22 to 24. You do not need a Kindle machine. You can view it on PC, Mac, or phone. Many of the photographs are by Vera Lisa Smetzer.

Link to Book

 

A 5¢ pay raise! Photo by Vera Lisa Smetzer.

A 5¢ pay raise! Photo by Vera Lisa Smetzer.

 

An Unsettling Day at the Store

I was making jokes like usual, but no one was smiling. Like when you are reminiscing to you wife about some really fun thing the two of you did years ago. But she gets quiet and seems to be listening too closely. And you think, oh wait, who was I with?

 

I told my manager I was getting a colonoscopy. Photo by Vera Lisa Smetzer.

I told my manager I was getting a colonoscopy. Photo by Vera Lisa Smetzer.

 

Slime in the Parking Lot

During my first break yesterday I got a phone call from a front end supervisor. I heard her say, “Can you come to the front? There is slime flowing around in the parking lot.” Sounded urgent so I advised her to page my partner who was working in the backroom. “What the hell,” I thought. “Could be a septic pumper with a leaky valve!” I hurried down at the end of my break and asked if my partner was still outside. “Yes,” she replied with great seriousness. I went into the parking lot to help. Couldn’t find my partner. Couldn’t find any slime.

I went out back and found my partner at work. “What was in the parking lot?” I asked, excitedly.  He looked puzzled. “It was just one of the yellow floor cone signs we set out in the fire lane. Someone knocked it over. The front end called for me to “take care of the sign that was rolling around in the parking lot.”

I suppose I could get a hearing aid, but life would be less interesting.

 

An Unsettling Day at the Store

September 15, 2017

An unsettling day at the store. I was making jokes like usual, but no one was smiling. Like when you are reminiscing to you wife about some really fun thing the two of you did years ago. But she gets quiet and seems to be listening too closely. And you think, oh wait, who was I with?

 

Mike's Truck Starting a Long Decline - photo by Vera Lisa Smetzer

Mike’s Truck Starting a Long Decline – photo by Vera Lisa Smetzer